January is New Year’s Resolution time. Lose weight, gain weight, quit smoking, start smoking, get rich, spend more time working and less time with their families…you name it, people resolve to do it.

Yet how many people actually succeed with their resolutions?

According to a statistic I just made up, 75% of people fail to keep their New Year’s Resolutions. That number is even higher with weight loss resolutions.

Why, you ask?

Well, here are my Top 20 Excuses Why New Year’s Resolutions to Lose Weight End in Failure…

20. I wasn’t getting enough to eat on ONE diet so I had to go on THREE.

19. Its winter and I need the extra insulation to keep me warm.

18. I went to the gym and somebody was on my machine so I realized everything happens for a reason and it wasn’t meant to be.

17. I went to the gym and there was no lifeguard on duty in case the rowing machine sank. I complained to the manager but they threw me out.

16. Turns out I didn’t really mean it.

15. My other resolution to quit being a cranky jerk all the time wasn’t compatible with my low-carb diet.

14. There was a big game on…Wheel of Fortune is a game, right?

13. My DVR broke so I couldn’t fast-forward past all the food commercials.

12. I figured since rice cakes don’t have many calories, the same was true of other cakes. Like fudge cake. And pancakes. With syrup. And fudge.

11. My personal trainer called and said if I didn’t show up for my session on Friday, don’t bother showing up on Monday. Woohoo! 4 day weekend!

10. No ashtrays on the treadmills at the gym. How do they expect me stay on that thing for an hour without a cigarette break? It’s not like that little TV can keep my mind off how painful and boring it is to hammer away on that thing at 1.2 mph for 60 minutes.

9. Krispy Kreme hasn’t come out with an Olestra-filled donut (that they’ve told us, at least…I have my suspicions).

8. Billy Mays (that bearded infomercial guy) hasn’t come out with a Mighty Putty strong enough to keep my mouth shut at the all-you-can-eat buffet.

7. The economy is in such rough shape, it’s hard to afford the new clothes I’ll have to buy as I get smaller so it’ll have to wait until I get a bailout.

6. I have to buy junk foods “for the kids” even though they don’t really need that stuff either and I don’t actually HAVE any kids or KNOW any kids.

5. I messed up and ate a chip on Day 2 so I gave up until next January’s resolution season.

4. I need to get in better shape before I can join a gym…to get in better shape.

3. I made a resolution to give up drinking so I could lose weight but I did it while I was drunk so I forgot.

2. I don’t want to insult my co-workers by not eating birthday cake at the office every single day, even when I have to bring it myself.

1. I’m waiting for President Obama to lose the weight for me.

Nick Nilsson is Vice-President of BetterU, Inc. and has been inventing new training techniques and exercises for 17+ years. Nick has written many training books including “Muscle Explosion! 28 Days To Maximum Mass” & “Metabolic Surge - Rapid Fat Loss” - http://www.fitness-ebooks.com

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 If you’re planning on hiring a comedian for your next corporate event or party there are a lot of things that you need to consider to ensure that the show will be a success. You can’t just blindly thumb through the phone book and pick the first comedian that you see advertised, you have to do a good deal of research to ensure that the comedian that you hire will put on a show that will be funny to your particular audience. A poor performance by the entertainment of the event can make the entire event a flop, but choosing someone who tries to entertain the audience with humor that may offend some of your employees could result in a much worse scenario than just a bad party - that’s why you need to make sure that the comedian you hire puts on the kind of show that your employees will respond to.

Here are some of the many things to consider before hiring a comedian, or any form of entertainment, for your next corporate event:

Who is in the Audience?

Your co-workers and employees are the reason that you are throwing your corporate event, without them you wouldn’t be having anything to celebrate - you most likely wouldn’t have a business at all, so it’s crucial that you examine your audience as a whole and make sure that nothing in the hired artist’s performance will offend anyone sitting in the audience.

Some basics to stay away from are: profanity, religion, race and sex. All of these can be very touchy topics that shouldn’t be brought up in the workplace, so they shouldn’t be brought up in an event help for the people in the workplace either. You can’t, and shouldn’t, know everything about all of your employees private lives - any one of these topics focused on in any manner could create a really uncomfortable situation for one or several of your valued employees. It’s safe to assume that if a topic shouldn’t be addressed at the workplace, than it shouldn’t be addressed by the entertainment at a corporate event either.

The Track Record of the Performer

Just as you don’t want to hire a comedian that will touch on subjects that could offend some of your employees, you also don’t want to hire a comedian with no experience in this type of atmosphere. Working the stage at a corporate event and working the stage at an open microphone night at a seedy bar are two completely different things - that’s not to say that a comedian who performs at clubs and bars can’t successfully perform at a corporate event, but you want someone with proof of success in these types of events.

The comedian you are considering should be able to provide any number of references of parties and events that they have performed at. It won’t take you more than a few minutes to check some of those corporate references to see exactly how the comedian that you are considering performed. A good reference from another or several other, corporate events will give you a good idea whether the comedian you are considering can perform well in the event that you are holding.

You want your corporate event to be a smashing success, something that all of your employees truly enjoy and will talk about favorably for the foreseeable future. You want everyone to laugh and have a good time without any chance of anyone feeling uncomfortable or being offended. The way to ensure this is to do your research and hire a comedian who is funny and clean and who has a good track record with several other corporate event performances under his or her belt.

Canadian Corporate Comedy Entertainment is an agency that provides standup comedians to Keynote speaker and corporate entertainment events and general content relating to British entertainment and culture. If you hire a comedian in Toronto this agency provides.

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 People who are passionate about dogs know how invaluable the canine creatures can be in life. They offer selfless love and faithfulness to the owners. The dog lovers also try to show love to their beloved pets. Some buy gifts and food treats for their dogs. However for some people the idea of posting their dogs pictures online is a cherished one.

There are some web sites that give the dog owners the scope to send their pets images to take part in dog photo contests. The sites have dedicated sections for various breeds of dogs. If one has a large dog like the Labrador and another has a cute Chihuahua, both will have to submit the photos of their dogs in different sections. Some other sites also invite photos from the dog owners and keep galleries of funny dog pictures. These photos keep the dog lovers entertained and provide relaxation.

If one is looking for a free dog photo and picture site where he can find and submit funny dog photos he can select a site named Virtual Dog Park. It wants the dog owners to submit clear and vivid photos of their dogs. The site uses the photos sent by the dog owners and combines them with hilarious articles. People who submit the crazy pictures of their dogs enjoy seeing them online and show off to their friends.

One can also download the picture of the funny dogs and use it as his desktop wallpaper and send it to friends. Every month the site selects the picture of a dog that it finds the funniest. People having various sized dogs can take part in its funny dog contest.

All a person needs to do is send a dog picture into Virtual Dog Park through their easy quick easy form and then let them create a funny new image that includes your dog picture in it. Then they write a funny headline and funny news article about the picture

The site came into existence a few years back. It all started with some friends exchanging some crazy dog photos with email. It has a section named quick bites that offer the viewers with hilarious fake news and silly dog comics. The site has a team of talented and creative writers who create these laughter provoking stories. These hilarious stories present serious, political and other news events from a dogs point of view.

One can get a taste of dog humor by reading the fake news at this site. It also covers loveable puppies along with the matured dogs. The sight of dogs commenting on serious human activities with mock seriousness is laughter provoking. Moreover one can interact with other people who are passionate about dogs and share his feelings.

It is an undeniable fact that dogs are among the most loveable pets of the world. But there are few sites that let dog lovers have a look at the world and important events from the perspective of a canine. One can not but laugh heartily at the funny news published in the site while fully knowing it to be fake. It provides people with a welcome relief from the monotony of life.

charles balter is author of this article on Dog photo contest.

Find more information about Dog photo site here.

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 Need some time out from work stress? How about stepping out of the surreal world of work piles and deadlines awhile and take a deep breath of laughter in the jokey world of politics? Okay. Get a tall cool glass of iced tea, dim the light in the office, recline fully on the recliner, both feet on the table, and check out these political jokes.

Two guys, John and Peter, bored of work, decide to talk about politics during office hours and each tries to be more in the know than the other. Political smart aleck John starts. He asks, Whats feudalism all about? Simple, says Peter, raise two hens and Mr. landlord takes some of the eggs. John nods approval. How about pure socialism? John asks again. The government confiscates the hens and puts them in a shelter with all the neighbors hens. Then you care for all of them and the government gives you all you need, replies Peter. Political jokes John and Peter seem in agreement.

Now, your turn, says Peter to John. Umm..whats bureaucratic socialism? asks Peter. John smiles and says, Government thinks cow farmers should raise up hens and hen farmers should raise up cows. Then, they all get imprisoned because the cows start crowing and laying eggs and the hens start mooing and giving milk. Peters eyes widen in wonder. Okay, he said, thats a tolerable answer. How about Fascism? John quickly answers, Government takes both your hens, hires you to raise them, and then sells you the eggs. Unable to contain their hilarity the two political jokes breaks out in laughter and decides to talk about communism.

And whats pure communism? asks Peter. Okay, John starts, excited, you have two malnourished hens which you and your thousands of neighbors raise, and then all of you share in the eggs. Peter thinks of a more specific question. Whats Russian communism? John rubs his hands and licks his lips. You have two hens youre raising and the government takes all the eggs. Peter follows with another. Whats Cambodian communism? Johns eyes widen and says, You raise two hens which the government takes and then shoots you on the head. More laughter from the amused political jokes.

Peter then shoots another question. Whats a dictatorship? he asks. John says, Government takes your two hens and drafts you in the military to be sitting ducks to the enemy! Laughter again from both political jokes. Now, how about American democracy? Peter asks. John answers, Government makes other countries raise two hens, gets all the eggs for Americans, and then pats the heads of the good allies who raised the eggs.

Suddenly, the big boss joins the conversation and asks both the office political jokes, How about explaining to me what surrealism is? Peter and John look at each other and then John ventures a haphazardly thought of reply. He says, with a quivering voice, Er, uh, we raise up two monkeys

and the boss hires the two monkeys and fires you both! the big boss cuts him short.

Will Spencer is writing political commentary and humor articles for both political humor and Jokes about Republicans web sites. Visit Political Jokes to Mull Over–And Which May Cost One’s Job.

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